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Information » People in Your Life » Being in a Relationship » Going Out



Going Out

Going out with somebody means you are in a romantic relationship with that person. Every relationship is different so try not to compare your relationship to others or let anyone else decide who you should go out with.

The right relationship should make you feel good about yourself. You should feel relaxed, confident and happy with that person.

There is no rush to get into a relationship with somebody. Wait until you feel ready and mature enough to be in a relationship before you get involved with anyone.

Getting together

Asking somebody out can be a nerve-wracking experience. If you already know each other, this may help you judge the best way to approach them.

Everybody is different and there is no right or wrong way to ask someone out.

Turning friendship into something more

  • A good friendship can provide a solid base for a successful relationship as you will already know that person well. Sometimes friendships develop into relationships and sometimes they don't. Its important that you both know whether you want to be more than friends
  • Sometimes a boy or girl might start a friendship with you because they fancy you and hope that it will develop into something more. If you know you would like more than friendship with someone from the start then it might be better to just ask if they like you too, otherwise things can get complicated and confusing for you both
  • If you start to have feelings for a friend and want a relationship with them you might read more into the way they are with you or what they say to you than they might mean. You might want to go out with them, but they might just want to remain friends so you end up in the 'friendzone' seeing you the same as one of their female friends that they confide in or seeing you as 'one of the boys'
  • There might be signs to indicate whether your friend might want a relationship with you, like flirting with you or becoming jealous of you with other boys or girls but there is no definite way of knowing without asking them
  • Asking them or telling them how you feel can be difficult, especially if you are very close as friends. You risk both of you ending up feeling awkward and hurt if they don't feel the same way and might lose your friendship
  • Think about things carefully before trying to turn your friendship into a relationship, it might be a good idea to talk to some of your other friends or theirs discreetly to find out what their opinion is

Meeting new people

  • You can meet new people at school, college, after-school clubs or simply by socialising
  • The Internet is could be a good way to meet new people, especially if you are shy or live in an isolated area. But there are certain dangers associated with meeting people online, so treat this with caution. See section: Online Relationships

When you’re together

  • Relationships are based on mutual respect, honesty and trust
  • Being in a relationship with somebody means you are committed to them and being faithful will build trust between you
  • Kissing and affection is a natural part of any relationship, but be aware of being overly affectionate in public as might make other people around you feel uncomfortable!
  • It is up to you how you spend your time together – you don’t have to feel like you should be doing the same as other couples. Your relationship is unique to you so do whatever you both enjoy doing
  • Take your time to get to know somebody. Enjoy the time you spend together and don’t rush anything

Sex

  • Not every relationship has to involve sex. Many couples simply enjoy being together. However sex is more enjoyable in a relationship as long as it is done safely
  • Don’t feel pressured into having sex with your partner if you don’t feel comfortable. If your relationship is special and made to last, your partner will wait until you are ready

Arguments

  • It can be an upsetting and frustrating experience to argue with your partner, but falling out is a normal and healthy part of any relationship. It allows you to express your feelings to each other, keeping the communication channels open and airing any problems, rather than bottling them up
  • However arguments can sometimes be avoided by making time for each other and doing things you enjoy together. Balance your time carefully between yourself, your friends and your partner
  • If you are having more arguments than you think you should and it is hard to talk to your partner, talk to someone else you are close to. It may help to put problems into perspective and provide new solutions
  • Remember - good communication is vital to any relationship. It is important to share your feelings in order to understand each other better

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